LIFE IS A MEME I’ve been analyzing Friday’s stats and there are two explanations We’re either posting them too late– Jimmy! Are you okay? Yes, I’m listening Just keep talking and I’ll listen You know what? Let’s stop I’m listening! Really Let’s leave it here and get some coffee, shall we? Wow, I needed this Getting up early messes me up But don’t worry, I’ll get my eight-hour sleep at home You do know that eight-hour sleep is a myth, right? Either way I spread them out I sleep four hours on the first day, the full eight hours at dawn, on the second day, and on the night of the second day, I get the four hours I missed the day before You’re literately sleeping twelve hours a day No Four hours– It’s not my place to tell you this But you’re becoming a Somnopath That’s cute! It’s Sociopath Sergio No It’s Somnopath It’s an extreme laziness disorder, very common in men your age, It can even diminish your creativity That’s why I wanna help you Help me how? This is Elvira Rauch’s number She’s the account manager for an ad agency and she’s interested in hiring your services I can’t right now Sergio, We have a lot of work with the site, don’t we? You can do both You need the money and the responsibility, above all What kind of services they need? They’re looking for an Influencer Elvira saw the motivational phrases you post on Twitter Those aren’t phrases, those are jokes So what? She liked them I don’t know, I’m not an Influencer I don’t even know what an Influencer does You know who doesn’t know it either? Influencers Hello! Hello Elvira Jimmy, how are you? Fine, how are you? Thanks for coming – Hello – Hello Welcome to “Essence” What’s your sign? I’m Capricorn, I think Do you wish to see the menu, Capricorn? No thanks. Just a soda for me A glass of water, maybe? Also, if you want If you’re not too hungry you can try the wild salad It’s delicious and super light Yeah, one wild salad please, thanks I’ll be back, Capricorn Thanks Thanks a lot for coming, I imagine you must be very busy Not at all I mean, I am but thank you and the agency for the opportunity Not at all, the… boy Sergio Sergio really recommended you, he says you’re one of the best Influencers in this country Well, Sergio says a lot, as much as– We’re currently working on an ad campaign for “Multifort” It’s a vitamin suplement, So we came up with a spectacular digital strategy to promote the brand The idea is having a digital diary of your experience with Multifort over thirty days, doing your exercise routine, right? Obviously, the first days you’ll say you have no energy, you’re unmotivated But as days pass, you keep using Multifort and you feel energized, ready to reach all of your goals You know what I mean? Yes Sorry, I asked for water It’s water, preservative-free I don’t know if you’re clear on the concept, the idea is Multifort helps you– The concept is very…solid, I was just wondering if–
Hey, that’s a great image! Send me another for reference What I was saying was I’m not a sports Influencer Don’t worry, we have our own fitness Influencers you would be more of a a motivational Influencer you would be posting frases, like He showed me one, the boy Sergio Sergio, right. I have it right here Here… “Don’t wait for it to happen, “go out there and make it happen.” Benito Mussolini I made it as a joke And that’s from Who? Some thinker…? Mussolini, the strongman Ok, so He’s like a weightlifter? We could hire him for a live event or something But you haven’t told me if you’re interested yet, Do you have any questions…? I’m interested, I’m very interested I have a thing with the exercise routine Going to the gym is not– Oh no! there’s no problem, you can go to the gym you usually go Sorry? What gym do you go to? There’s one nearby, in my neighborhood I go there, on wed– Like all week Does it have to be thirty days? I mean Couldn’t it be… fewer days? Is thirty like– Like the…? Super! So That’s it then, I’ll send you a full ration of “Multifort” so you can get familiar with the product You can take pictures so we get a sense of the aestethics, right? We’ll meet with the creative team on Friday, shall we? Cool Super! One wild salad That’s me Enjoy your meal Thanks Tasty, isn’t? Remain calm please! I’m gonna die! No, you’re not dying Listen to me! Breathe Just breathe, I’m gonna put this on your finger What’s your name ma’am? Rosalba Miss Rosalba stay calmed You’re perfectly fine Keep your hand there and I’ll check your pulse Stay calmed, breathe…that’s it How are you doctor? I’m with a pacient right now ‘Hey hag, you go to the gym, right? Could you bring me as a guest so I get a discount? ‘That’s delicate doctor, why?’ I just need to join a gym Obesity? No… It’s just Something came up and I need to go everyday for thirty days That will expire in two days I will expire? You’re saying I can handle it? I can’t discuss it right now ‘Ok lets do it by multiple choice If you think it’s because I’m lazy, dial– What’s up player! What do you say? You’re coming this afternoon? Sure! We’ll step on it today, beast mode! – See you then, coz – Sure thing Hey… Champ I hadn’t seen you before, come No, no sir Welcome to “Healthy Gym”, I’m Jair How can I help you? Hello Mr. Jair The thing is… How should I put this I need to exercise– Sure you do! But only while I take some pictures So… I just want to know if there’s any chance I can take them here How so? It’s a work thing It’ll take just a minute, ok? I’ll take a picture using a machine or something– No, that’s not how we do things in “Healthy Gym” If you come to our gym you need to work, hard With that exercise routine you’re suggesting you wont get results – But I’m telling you, it’s not a– – Ok, look Let me explain you Over there, there’s a bar and we can do pull-ups with it say you do three pull-up sets of thirty, so Up!… Down! Up!… Down! Up… Down – Up… Down – Mr. Jair, I get it
I’m not done! Sorry Ok Up… Down Up… Down All of that builds your back, your shoulders, biceps, triceps, even your forearms But if you come here and you take only a minute, “One… Two… Up… Down…”, you’ll never get results, you know? Yes sir, I get it The thing is I don’t– I’m not interested in exercising I want to pretend I’m exercising, you see? like a fake workout Because I’m only interested in the photos Mr. Jair, not in exercising Got it You want the “easy-peasy” program Come, let’s get you an assessment Step on it, champ! Is this your first assessment? Yeah, yes ma’am In fact… it’s the first time I join a gym If you need any information you can find it in our fliers Do you currently practice any sport? No, but… I do walk He walks! Build a statue for the athlete! Sorry? Any heart conditions? No, none Step on the scale, please Do you indulge in junk food? Pizza, burguers No, not to much Look me in the eye Sorry? Look me in the eye! Burger, pizzas, cured meats, tacos, hot dogs, empanadas, cracklings– Empanadas Step down the scale Let’s go to the training room, please Stop! Stand on one foot Open your arms Touch your nose with your right hand Now your lips Blow me a kiss Grab the pull-up bar Grab the pull-up bar! Clap twice In a scale of one to ten, rate your reflexes Well I Five Let’s test your resistance, agreed? Okay ma’am You agree with us testing your resistance? Yes ma’am Zero resistance Nausea? Breathing difficulties? Somnopath behavior? Somnopath or sociopath? Do you feel contempt…? Indifference towards society? No You buy plastic plates to avoid doing the dishes, If you have to and you don’t have dish soap, you use hand soap Somnopath I’m told you’re interested in the “easy-peasy” program, thirty days of simulated exercise without a shadow of physical effort that it’s not required for the sheer sustenance of human life Well… If you put it that way, no What other programs do you have? ‘Four sets of fifteen, sit on the bench and lift Let’s start with that I’ll check on you later Hey champ! Ready for the “easy-peasy” program? You want your picture taken? Actually, I’m going with the one-day trial Really? Excellent, that’s much better They gave me this sheet Wow! you got a training program and all This way I’ll improve my fitness, right? Well, as for improving your fitness At thirty your best bet is to fight your body’s natural decline What do we have here? Jimmy Pino Somnopath This is fine, let’s get that engine running Wanna train with me? Sure thing That’s the spirit! We’re training on beast mode Am I right? High five! Okay, let’s start with some cardio, real slow Twenty minutes But
You said real slow! Come on champ, let’s build your chest No, no Face forward That’s right… Grab this Both hands… Like that Open your arms Inhale… 70 pounds Step on it One… Like this Come on! Pull! I can’t do it Really? Straighten up, straighten up Sync your arms and legs It had 70, let’s do 50 now Come on now, focus Inhale Open your arms and push forward, it’s yours One! Come on! ‘Up the mountain in One…! Two…! Three! Up we go! We’re climbing, we’re climbing the mountain of perseverance! – Straighten up – I am Inhale and exhale, Inhale Hello! How are you? I heard you’re going to the event this weekend Listen, I have two tickets In case you– Everything okay? The mountain of perseverance is ours! We have it, come on! One more push! We’ve arrived! Let’s slow down! Hands forward, come on! What do I see? the mountain of vigor is coming, and it’s twice as high! teach, a shortcut! No shortcuts! 30 pounds Open your arms wide and go for it, it’s yours! Come on! Step on it! It’s you! It’s all you! My foot! My foot! See? You got to build muscle for that foot Who builds muscle for his foot? Feel that – Go! Go! – I can’t go! We’re on beast mode! No pain, no gain! Come on! Yes pain! No pain! Yes pain! – No pain! Come on! – Yes pain! Five, just five more I can’t What do you mean you can’t? Go full beast! I’m no beast I have no beast No beast I’m gonna die – No, no, calm down – I can’t feel my body -…calm down, don’t worry – …take me home, I’m dying What’s your name? Jimmy Jimmy, give me your hand Calm down, no worries Breathe Inhale… Exhale That’s it. Much better, right? – A bit better – There you go Just a moment Mr. Jair Say that I I start doing this everyday, right? I get up early and come here Say for two years Right For how long could I not train after that? What do you mean? I don’t get it Yeah, I mean How many days of not exercising do I earn…? for each day of exercising? Do you earn…? Or hours, just hours None. You don’t earn a day, or an hour– No Look The more you exercise, the more you must keep training to mantain yourself You get it? Okay, let’s see I consume 4,000 calories a day How do I burn those 4,000 calories a day? Simple I get here at four in the morning and I use all the machines you see here for two hours, just before we open, every day Every day? At four in the morning? I’m telling you to motivate you! When you start exercising you’re making a life commitment To the grave! You gotta train everyday, hardcore style! You got to give it a 100, no, a 110 percent! So… Second round? Easy Mr. Jair I really appreciate your effort, but This is not for me It’s definitively not for me – I can’t handle it – Okay What do you want me to do with your photos then? Let me show you around the agency,
I love our offices, they’re beautiful, they’re well lit– They’re huge Something happened to you? No The client is in today? It’s just the boys that handle the account There’s Nicolas, the boy that handles the digital area There’s Leila, she handles ATL marketing And there’s Ricardo. He’s our senior creative and– Well… You’ll meet him soon First of all Thanks a lot for letting me participate in the campaign, I’m really– Sorry, is he the self-help influencer? I’m confused Yes, I am Oh right! I tought he was the fit guy I was thinking: “They ripped us up!” No offense None taken Anyway, as I was telling Elvira, I’m more focused in humor – So – I love humor It’s fascinating Cool But we asked for some pictures with some little self-help phrases Inspirational – Same thing – Inspirational “Believe in yourself”, “the world’s yours” Yeah, in fact I have a picture It’s just a mock-up of what it would be But that’s basically the concept That you should try your best to really– I love it! Really? Yeah, that stud looks divine, Which agency has him? He is Jair, my trainer He looks just like the guy from the Old Spice ad We’ll have to airbrush out that weakling on the left but Yeah, it works I’m the weakling Jimmy I don’t get it, you want your trainer to replace you in the campaign? No, that’s what she said I think that we could both be in it, like in contrast to each other Like a before and after? Well It can’t be a before and after… How? ‘If we had two black guys…’ ‘Yeah it’s like… It’s not credible.’ ‘It is to me.’ ‘It’s not…’ Why not? I’m sorry to interrupt but Is that idea really credible for people? I mean Will they go to a gym and go on a diet…? and suddenly their lives will improve? In a fit of discipline they’ve never had? I don’t know ‘I think most of us are at peace with our ugliness, ‘with our laziness With our mortality Advertisement has been selling us the same “healthy life” lie for years It’s absurd, the idea that everything will be better overnight, and we’ll be better, It’s as absurd as thinking that I could exercise and become like Jair So… Why can we play with that idea? Without Multifort! With Multifort! Without Multifort With Multifort That’s the trick every beauty ad uses That there’s a “before” to be ashamed of and an “after” to crave Why don’t we take that idea and parody it shamelessly in a meme? That would be a proper meme, a meme understood as a unit that transmits valuable, crucial information Not banalities At least not just banalities Pipe has the number of Catalina Aristizabal, We’ll pay her for a couple of mentions on her social media She’s crushing it on Instagram She gets thousands of new followers a day And she’s hot as hell! Sorry, I don’t understand How would she play into the campaign’s concept? Like at the end or…? Man Thanks a lot for that wonderful presentation We really loved it We’ll discuss and we’ll call you, we’ll be… In touch Was that good? Good I don’t know, I’m not sure you went with “you loved”, I think the copy looses its force on past tense “We love it”! Right? “Bud”! “Bud”. Let’s start with “bud” “We love it…” “Bud, we love it” And say “next week”, so he thinks it’s real “Next week” it is – “We’ll be in touch” – Yes Done deal Elvira… Please
Jimmy “Bud” Bud We love it – “We’ll be in touch…” – We’ll be in touch next week Thanks a lot Thanks How many sir…?